Illness and guilt

I think I briefly mentioned this in another post but I really hate taking sick days from work.  Even though I am genuinely sick, the guilt can be overwhelming.

Today it was the throat infection Rose gave me that got me.  My throat hurt a little less, but I was so overwhelming tired and aching all over, I just couldn’t get out of bed to go to work.  I sleep very poorly (waking up over and over) at the best of times, but I must have fallen into a heavy sleep eventually because when I woke up it was 5pm.

But ever since I woke up, I’ve had to deal with the overwhelming guilt of missing yet another day of work.

What a day!

I am completely exhausted tonight, but I really wanted to keep up my “a post a day” goal, so I thought I’d write a quick post before getting a few hours sleep before Rose wakes up again.

Work today was a nightmare.  It was the worst afternoon shift I’ve had in my life (not just as an registered nurse, but in the years I was a student and the years I was an assistant nurse in aged care which is a pretty tough job). 

Work this week…

I’ve had another quiet day today.  A rest day to catch up on sleep before four days at work in a row and my first performance review for the ward I’m working on currently.

I’m sure it doesn’t sound like much, and to most people, it probably isn’t much, but between my anxiety and physical health problems and my current job, so far I’ve not managed more than two days in a row and more than three days in a week.  The last time I tried working just three days in a row I ended up sick by the third day and went home after 45 minutes. 

Work

So I’m at work at the moment. I’m not sure if I’ve talked about my work before. I’m a nurse. I spent a few years working in aged care. Then worked in mental health and now I’m working on a surgical ward and hope to transfer back into mental health next year as that is where my knowledge and passion lie. I can’t post a big post as I’m just on afternoon tea break but I’ve been planning to post daily and not sure if I’ll get another opportunity today.

So just found out I’ll get my first performance review for this ward on Thursday. Apparently it was supposed to be today. Hmmm. I hate reviews. No matter how good they go, I only hear the bad and not the good. I’m terrified of next Thursday. I’ve had a lot of sick days so know it won’t go well.

Anyway, back to work I go.