Sorry for the timeout

So… not sure how long it has been.  Probably nearly 6 months since my last blog post.  I do apologise – a lot has happened yet not really that much has happened.  The truth is, I just let the stress of being off work and trying to get back to work get on top of me, and once I was back at work, I got caught up in trying to keep up with work and health problems and being a mum – as most mums know, its the most rewarding yet busy job in the world being a mum.

I’ve decided to set myself a new goal of only (a minimum) of one post a week.  I hope to write more but my goal is at least one per week – to keep myself motivated to post regularly, while at the same time, to not feel bad if I don’t post every day like I was trying to in the past.  The problem I find is once I fall below my minimum goal, I feel embarrassed and get too anxious to post again and then stop posting altogether.  I think if I set a reasonable goal of one post a week, I won’t fall into the “I’ve missed a day, I’m too embarrassed to post the next day” anxiety trap as I did on here and I have done on blogs in the past.

So where are things at?  Well my current work position is coming to end.  It was a contract so I always knew it would come to an end.  Unfortunately I’ve hit the problem now that there just isn’t many positions going, and everyone I’ve applied with through my current employer, the problem is that permanent staff have preference over temp staff, so I keep missing out purely because I’m a temp and all available positions were filled by permanent staff.  So it’s back to applying for anything and everything in the field of nursing that I can do part time.  Unfortunately my physical health continues to get gradually worse, so full time is just not an option.    I’ll write more on these things another time but at the moment, I just wanted to update everyone that I’m alive, I’m ok (as I ever was anyway) and that I’m back.

The kids are fine.  Sammie is doing well with her ADHD medication.  She still suffers from “teenager syndrome” but I guess there never has been a cure for being a teenager other than to become an adult.  I look forward to the day she becomes ones 😉  Rose is also doing well.  She’s passed 18 months since my last post, and she’s a happy, healthy little girl.  She’s learnt how to throw toddler tantrums which is sadly quite normal developmentally but generally she’s a very well behaved, polite little girl.  She says please and thank you (“pee” and “ta”) which is more than I can say for Sammie lol.  And I’m not kidding when I say I think she is genuinely learning a new word every single day.  It’s quite an experience for me as Sammie was a little slow to talk (although she sure makes up for it now!).

And John?  Well John still struggles with his own depression and anxiety and I find at times I get frustrated because a medical specialist thinks that with treating a certain medical condition he has, that it might fix his depression and anxiety altogether, or at least get rid of most of it.  But for all his good qualities, stubbornness is definitely his worst, and he is incredibly stubborn about not accepting help – and that sadly includes help for medical stuff.  So it’s something we’re working on dealing with.

So that is a quick summary of where things are at.  There is so much more to unpack in what I’ve shared but that will be for another time.  At the moment just not feeling physically well at all.  It could be “just a cold” combined with a fibromyalgia flare up, or it could be some hormonal stuff going on, or the cold, rainy weather making osteoarthritis worse, or just being run down, or a combination of all of the above and more.  All I know is for the last week I’ve been sleeping 18-20 hours a day and aching all over but I figure, like anything else, it will eventually pass.  I hope.

Thanks for sticking with my blog and I will be active again now I’m back 🙂

Not in the mood

I had grand plans to write a post about my family of origin tonight.  I decided to throw open this blog to (most) friends and family.  I figure, what’s the worst that can happen? they think I’m crazy? I already know I’m crazy 😉  They stop talking to me?  well that would be their loss.  Not believe me? well that’s their choice.

I’m not sure why, but I have a blinding headache tonight.  Quite probably lack of sleep.  I get enough hours in bed, but I can’t get off to sleep or stay asleep lately.  So I won’t write the post about my family tonight but hopefully I will tomorrow.

At least I had a productive afternoon, finally getting the courage to call the dentist, remembering to call the knee specialist, booking some scans that I need done and a few other thing I can’t remember right now.  Sammie had her first session with a therapy group about how to deal with bullies and I think that went well.

And that’s it from me tonight.  Goodnight.

Psychologists x2 and an intro to my family

I thought today I’d write about my day.

It feels like a big day although really not all that much happened.

My family are visiting which is always a chaotic time and my relationship with them is rather complicated. I will explain why over time.  My family live interstate so they stay with us when they visit.  Even though my parents stay in caravan, my sister stays in the house in my older daughter’s room, so there is very little room.  We live in a very small three bedroom house (really only two bedrooms and a very small study my husband uses as his office), so things are very crowded. Continue reading

The first post

And so begins my new blog…

I will start with why I wanted to write this blog.  In my short 30 something years I have been through many things and the unique story of my unique life and my unique mind is something I believe is worth sharing.  I believe it is worth sharing because I want to reach out to others who have been through similar, to let them know they are not alone and because I want to reach out to those who have never been through similar so they can get a better understanding of others go through in life.

I hope to share with you both my joys and my sorrows, my good times and my bad.  I hope I can convey some humour and I will be totally honest and hope I don’t offend anyone with my bluntness.

About me….

I am a 30 something, married mum of two kids I love with all my heart.  I am from Qld, Australia and now live in another state that at this stage I won’t name for privacy reasons.  Maybe one day I will, but for now I won’t.   I am a Christian who takes their faith seriously.  Most of my posts though will focus on mental health which is my passion.  I have worked as a mental health nurse before taking time out for my own mental health, and I am trained in psychology and neuroscience as well.  I have witnessed both the best and the worst of the mental health profession in this country. Over the years I have had many labels, some right, some wrong.  For my own mental health I am working with a variety of therapists and they have updated my diagnoses to bipolar (I or II, still not sure), anxiety (generalised and social), PTSD and aspergers (or technically now known as “high functioning autistic spectrum disorder”).

I will be sharing links to other websites that have touched or inspired me, and ones that have simply comforted me that even though I am unique, that I am not alone.  I hope with my blog that I too will encourage others that they are not alone.

Welcome to the journey into a unique mind!