Some bad news and why in the past I self harmed

I’ve been feeling a little out of sorts today.  Not the grumpy type of “out of sorts”, just the type where you don’t feel quite right.  I couldn’t sleep much at all last night and when I did, I kept having vivid nightmares.  Same when I tried all morning to get more sleep.  I mean, I’ve been having a lot of nightmares since starting cymbalta, but they have been a lot worse the last week, but last night was the worst insomnia and most nightmares I’ve had in a long time.

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Old posts April 2002

These posts come from a depression support forum I was a member of.  They were from a section about medications.  They start from the first time I went to hospital for my depression in April when I was suicidal and just sent me home with a medication I should never have been given and at a dangerously high dose.  I haven’t included other people’s posts for privacy reasons so if it feels like parts of conversations are missing, that is probably why. Continue reading

My family

Well it’s been an interesting week.  My parents have my house left but will be back Thursday. My sister leaves tomorrow and my mother in law is staying til Friday.  Other than constantly bickering with each other, my parents were well behaved.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents, but there is a lot I don’t like about them. Continue reading

A few rambling thoughts – what it feels like to be different

I never know how to start my entries. I’d like my blog to be something profound, something interesting, something that makes a difference to others.  I want it to be something intelligent and useful.  But I don’t think it will be.  But I will continue to blog anyway.

I came up with the title of my blog because I feel unique.  I have also liked the saying “I’m unique, just like everyone else” because all humans are unique.  But I have always felt a little different from most people. Continue reading

Psychologists, psychiatrists, misdiagnoses and understanding.

Well it’s been a long day.  I worked a morning shift today after an evening shift last night so very tired.  But I wanted to write before heading to bed.

So I was writing about the meeting with my case manager on Thursday, two days ago.  I probably should have started with my appointment with my psychiatrist on Tuesday.  I decided to ask my psychiatrist a big question that has been on my mind for years. In the last 13 years I have seen literally dozens of psychiatrists, psychiatric registrars, psychologists and more. I’ve had dozens of diagnoses, most of them being misdiagnoses.  At best, this has led to incorrect treatments, mostly it has led to no treatment, and sometimes it has led to mistreatment and outright abuse. Continue reading